Rules & tips

How Secret Santa works

Secret Santa is a gift exchange where everyone draws one person to buy a gift for, and keeps it a secret until the big day. It turns “buy something for everyone” into “buy one great thing for one person”.

Step by step

1. Put everyone in the hat. Type or paste the names of everyone taking part. Add yourself if you’re playing too.
2. Add “can’t draw” rules. Tie couples or roommates together so they don’t draw each other.
3. Set a budget and a date. Most groups pick $20–$30 and an exchange day a week or two away.
4. Draw. We randomly assign everyone one person to buy for, in one big loop. Even the organizer can’t see the pairs.
5. Send the private links. Each person gets their own link by WhatsApp, text or email. Opening it unwraps a gift with their mission inside.
6. Write wishlists. Everyone can write a letter to Santa. Only the person who drew them will see it.
7. Exchange gifts. On the big day, swap gifts and try to guess who your Secret Santa was.

Common rules

• Budget: agree on one and stick to it. $20–$30 is typical; $10 for big groups or classrooms.
• Couples: usually can’t draw each other. That’s what “can’t draw” rules are for.
• No swapping: if you drew someone tricky, ask about their wishlist instead.
• Keep it secret until the exchange. That’s the whole fun.

Doing it remotely

You don’t need to be in the same room. Draw names online, send each person their private link, and mail gifts straight to each other. Video-call on exchange day to open them together.

Secret Santa vs. White Elephant

In Secret Santa, each person buys for one assigned person. In White Elephant, everyone brings one gift to a shared pile and the fun is in stealing. Lots of groups do both!